#291: Money is energy
How you relate to money is everything.
Earlier this year, my monthly income was zero. I felt shit. I felt not good enough. I was equating the amount of income landing in my bank account each month to my self-worth.
I was viewing money as finite. A resource that would run out. I was in scarcity. Not enough to go around. Fear.
I could have felt differently. I could have been… all good! I could have felt light. I could have smiled and thought “this is a reset”. I could have accepted that it was an era, a chapter of change in my life. It was. I see that now, but at the time the way I was relating to money in my life was heavy, really heavy.
My relationship with money was draining me. Draining my energy. Making me feel small, holding me down.
I leant into it. Noticed how I was relating to money and made the conscious decision to change this relationship.
I had some cash sitting in a business bank account. I’d been keeping it there. Keeping it “safe”. So I took it out of the business account, I freed up the flow. I actually spent the money I had. The energy moves. The money flows. I stopped keeping money there “just in case”.
We got the bathroom done. We spent £12,000 on it. We made an investment, even when I wasn’t earning a lot. We had less money in the savings as a result. But we let the money flow out, we let it move. Making that investment in our home, felt good. I love our new bathroom and don’t miss that money at all. It’s gone now and a new bathroom has appeared. That’s way better.
When I was getting bills I was feeling tight. I was feeling constricted. I was taking a sharp intake of breath. Huuuhhhh, “I need to pay out more” But what about the reframe? The more tax you’re paying, the more money you’re making. You’re making a contribution to society. Being a good citizen. Isn’t that a good thing? Spending money was feeling like a loss, rather than an exhange.
It’s not about the bill or the invoice you need to pay. It’s about your response to it. That’s what’s revealing. Money has energy to it. How’s money making you feel?
Money isn’t the end, it’s the means. How we relate to it is what matters.
Resistance vs Flow
I was feeling a lot of resistance towards money in my life. I was feeling constricted, scarce. Now I’m leaning into flow more. Letting money move in and out.
I’m trying to be more generous. Because that’s who I want to be. If I become more generous with my money. Will money be more generous with me?
The other day I gave ~£150 to 3 different charities (generous to others). I spent £300 at M&S on new clothes (generous to myself).
I bought some fresh veg and whilst the self check out beeped I smiled and thought; “I sold my skills to pay the shop its suppliers for growing this veg.” Exchange. It’s pretty laughable when you think what money actually is. When you really think about the value exchange that’s happening in your bank account, it’s disarming and shows money for what it really is. Energy, value, commerce. Not your self-worth.
This isn’t about money. This is about me. This is about you.
I see this all the time in founders I work with, and myself too.
You build a great business with decent revenue, but your relationship with money is still scarce. You’re still stressing over every penny. Every transaction is stressed over. Every pound is scrutinised. You’re still paying yourself like a teenager. No investments into your life. It’s all locked up in your business.
I had the same with Sanctus, then I freed myself and sold some shares and I felt lighter. But even then I felt scarce, feeling like the money I had made was finite. As if it was all I’d ever make, I left that lump sum sitting in my bank account going stale for 18 months. That money decision was made by a child counting his pennies in his savings jar.
Prompts and Reflections
Some great prompts to reflect on:
What is your relationship is with money at the moment?
What does money actually mean to you?
What value and meaning are you placing on money in your life?
If you get a bill how do you feel?
Go through all your transactions and look at them. Is this you? Is this your life?
When was the last time you bought something for you? Made an investment in you?
Do you have a pile of savings sitting there, going stale like a pile of dusty coins? Are you scared this will be the only money you ever have?
Money is energy. It’s value. Exchanging, flowing back and forth. How you relate to money says a lot about you and your life.
I’m learning to be more free with money. Less tight. Less constricted. I’m trusting that more money will flow in, and out.
And if it doesn’t… I’m learning to be more free, more light. Money does not define me.
That’s only a good thing.
Cheers,
James x
p.s I’m looking for ~5 people to join me as “early birds” - you’d get my newsletters in raw unedited form before anyone else and have the chance to provide feedback, edits and build on the themes. I’d incorporate your feedback into my final post and credit you. I think this could be fun if 1) you like my writing, 2) you like writing, 3) you like editing, 4) you like the “deep stuff” and creative process. Respond to this email if you’re interested. I’d put you in a whatsapp group and send first draft newsletters to you for feedback, chat and builds.
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