My shadow side ran things in me for many years.
Deep feelings of inadequacy and inferiority were in the dark and I never took the time to pull back the curtain.
Shame around where I’m from was left hidden away.
Desires for wealth and status that were rooted in insecurity and the need for external validation ran me from the inside out whilst I misunderstood them as ambition and purpose.
These parts of me were tucked away in my darkest corners - I only saw them in therapy.
I only saw them in the mirror of the relationships I cultivated. Some healthy, some ugly.
Since peering into my shadow I’ve been able to heal wounds that were driving unconscious behaviour.
I’ve became aware of what my shadow side wants.
This doesn’t mean I’ve stopped wanting to make money, or be recognised for my work.
It means I’m more conscious of how I’m operating and whether I’m being ran by my shadow - the lingering beliefs of doubt, fear and insecurity…
Or, whether I’m operating from a place of kindness, love, excitement and passion.
When you look into the darkness you are able to make a decision - bring out what you find into the light, or, acknowledge what you’ve found and let it stay in the cool, dank place it lives.
I never realised how much I wanted external validation, wealth and status. Still, I know, these desires dance around in my shadows. I catch them in the corner of my eye.
I’ve still got some work to do to truly own these desire and bring them into the light with no shame. I want to be comfortable with these desires and not push them back into the dark.
I know too that in the darkness I feel loneliness and difference, that “nobody gets me” - as much I might try and coax these parts of me out into the light I’ve learned these parts likes to stay in the cave. I’m just aware they are there and I have to get comfortable in the dark to spend time with them.
It’s hard to see into your shadow.
The first thing you have to do is face the light.
You might catch a glimpse on a walk in the sun, but your shadow will sneakily bounce away when they can, or the light will fade.
To see your shadow clearly you have to be in the light, but you won’t see your shadows if you keep chasing sunsets. You have to turn away from the sun and look into your blind spots. You have to look behind you, in the places you don’t usually stop to look.
You can live your whole life and never see your shadow. I’d argue many of our world leaders are running on shame, fear and insecurity totally unconsciously. Their shadow runs them.
Those who chose to do this work though will ultimately, I believe, live a more open-hearted, compassionate and fulfilled life.
All you have to do is face the light and look behind you.
What’s in your shadow?
Cheers,
James x
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I’m working 1:1 with Founders and Founding Teams as a thought partner, founder coach and brand builder. Coaching, facilitating, mentoring, advising - high level on the business and going deep on storytelling and brand. I’m currently working with 9 founders/teams and have space for 1 more before I hold fire for now. Book a chat here.
