#143: Community
I have recently found myself using this word a lot.
.
I’ve found myself experiencing 'Community' on a couple of levels; 1) Where I live, 2) Based around interests.
Feeling a sense of community in my life is like feeling something that I never knew was missing, yet now I can see that it has been missing for a while and now I can taste it I can see how I won’t want to let it go.
I moved to a new place during lockdown; Putney Bridge in West London - loads of green spaces, the River and a new flat with a balcony (had no outdoor space before).
I’ve spent years in coaching, therapy, meditating, journaling and all the rest of it. Yet moving to a new area and a new flat has had a transformational impact on my mood, wellbeing and overall happiness. I just feel better. I feel happy. I look outside and I smile, I go for walks and I smile. i feel grateful to live here.
Where i lived before was great yet it was purely functional, it got me to and from work and that was brilliant for a bit. Yet now I live somewhere that I want to live, that aligns to who I am now and what I’m interested in. I traded in the shorter commute for a longer one but around more of the things I care about.
What I’ve also started doing where I live is invest a bit more into the area. I don’t mean buying a new rug (although investing in making the living space comfortable obviously makes sense) - but I mean investing in relationships around here.
For example we have a guy in our complex who looks after the gardens and is like a handy man; Mike. So I make an effort to chat to Mike and get to know him, because he’s a nice guy and also because I feel that little bit more settled knowing somebody here.
Same with my neighbour, I went for a beer with my neighbour the other night, that is literally unheard of in London or modern life and it was great.
That’s two people where I live that I know, I’ve got their numbers in my phone and I feel a bit more settled but I also feel safer. There’s like a deep safety in having people around that i know, it’s there on some sort of deep human level, like if I’m locked out of my flat or something bad happens. Again. something I never knew would make an impact on me.
(There’s also a 76 year old bookshop owner called Ray who I talk to every day, but he’s a newsletter in himself)
The local community has really begun impacting me in a positive way and I’m surprised by the impact it’s had on me as someone who has typically felt like “I’m fine on my own”
I’ve also been joining/creating other communities based on my interests and through these I’ve been able to feel connected to myself, my work and others at a time when my social contact is still massively reduced.
I started a mental health community where we Journal together and to be “with” people who are focusing on their mental health and expressing their journey through journaling every day is heartwarming and also comforting and consoling. I feel human and “normal” to step alongside others in the community. I’ve never met a lot of these people in person, yet every day I see how they are feeling, sometimes very intimately and I also get to choose whether to share my feelings with them too. Or, I just journal privately, yet I know I’m doing it alone, with others.
I joined a writing community to help me keep up my writing for my mental health at work book. Every morning at 8-9 I write on Zoom in silence with video on (my choice). Again, I’m doing something alone, yet I’m doing it with others. What’s great about this (like the journaling community) is that because its interest-based I feel like I am meeting and being around people who are like me. I feel at home. At home not by location this time, by interest and at home with myself. It’s incredibly powerful and something else has slotted into place that I didn’t know was disjointed before.
Finally, I’ve also started to learn to Row and joined the Sanctus Fun Run set up by GB. These haven’t turned into a community space for me yet, yet I’m noticing that in joining them I’m looking for the community first and the activity second. So many times I’ve worked out I’ve been focused on the activity and then ended up in some lifeless gym with people I don’t like. This time I’m focused on the people, the community and then the activity. i don’t even like running I am literally just doing it for the Community and the great people doing it.
Community.
Of course, it makes sense doesn’t it, I almost want to hit my head on the table. Of couuuuurse. Of course, community, people, people like me, people I can be myself with, people who can help me and I can help them, people I can connect with. It makes a lot of sense.
Yet, admittedly a lot of my focus on mental health has been individual, it’s been on what I can do for me, not what I can do for others or even what others can do for me. I’ve been focused on how I have to help myself and do it all alone. We do have to travel some of this journey alone and do that inner work. Yet, not all of it, we need others and they need us.
Community.
Mental health has never been more in the forefront of all of our lives.
If we need to focus on our mental health more than ever, which I believe we do.
Then we’re also going to need community more than ever too. I’m sure of that.
It’s great to be writing again.
Sanctus stuff:
We asked people how their mental health has been in 2020? (Video)
Weekly mental health at work advocate newsletter
#mentalhealthmeme
