#248: I choose to be fearless.

Fear of failure on my third startup.

I’m afraid of failing, again.

I honestly thought I was done with all that.

Surely I’ve moved past the fear of failure story by now?

Nope. It’s still there.

It might be there stronger than ever.

I’ve always been afraid to fail. No matter what anybody tells me about failure being learning, I’ve never liked it.

It’s good to give permission for failure. Yet it’s right to allow yourself to be sad or angry when you don’t achieve something. It’s good to believe in your ability to do better. It’s honest to hold yourself accountable. Let’s honour failure and all the feelings that come with it.

I’m now on my third startup at 33. I know that new startups are statistically likely to fail. I understand, therefore, that it is natural for me to feel afraid of failure.

Of course I know all that. I wrote a masters in entrepreneurship course where the first module focused on the fear of failure and how it holds entrepreneurs back. I know it well.

I don’t always let myself feel fear though, that’s… scarier.

The fear of failure manifests itself in me in two ways currently:

1. A heaviness and sadness. I’ve got a story about the past, about how I’ve failed before and I’ll fail again. This heaviness doesn’t stop me producing work, yet it weighs on me and makes me feel tired.

2. Overthinking about money. “This next business will fail. I will have no money. I will have to get a job. I am unemployable. I will have no money. I will be alone. I will die.”

How am I combatting this? I wasn’t until today. I’ve been avoiding looking fear in the eye. I didn’t want to face it again.

I get frustrated when the same feelings crop up. I have a naive view that once I’ve dealt with something it won’t bother me again. I’m learning to accept that when you’re creative or entrepreneurial you have to constantly overcome fear, not just do it once.

What I love about admitting when I am afraid is that I immediately get to choose to be fearless. By admitting it, you’re not yielding to fear - you’re staring it down.

Fearlessness isn’t to be unafraid, it’s feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

I’m really quite afraid of starting another business, it not becoming what I hoped it would be, or worse, it failing completely. Then being left behind by my peers and disappearing into society as a hopeless nobody who once did something good in mental health one time.

I’m scared of all that.

I choose to build something new anyway.

I choose to be fearless.

James

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I’m open to work with founders and/or founding teams as an advisor. I’ve been there, raised money, sold a business, built something impactful, shut a company down, made great hires, made bad ones. I like working with mission-driven founders who want to make a positive impact on the world. I help make the journey easier, give good directions and avoid wrong turns. Email me for a chat.