Crazy Talk #9

I am married. Honestly does anything else really matter tbh?

There are still things on my mind but they feel less relevant and less important, I have a ring on my finger that is tight but nice and it reminds me of the commitment I have made to myself and to other, to love and share and all that. So that helps really because why go all crazy talk all the time?

Don't get me wrong I am not just going to buy a Nissan Zafira and stop writing crazy talk now I am married. Not that there is anything wrong with family hatchbacks I just don't want one yet.

I am married.

It's not even crazy, it's just great.

I have realised I am definitely a writer! That's a good thing to realise, because 1) actually quite a lot of people read this 2) lots of people reply, thanks! 3) people want to help me with moving from mailchimp 4) some people I think would pay at least some form of commonly accepted legal tender for my writing.

5) I really enjoy writing!

oh also one thing about getting married is the speeches and all the things people say about you. George and Tay said some things about me that I just thought, "well yeah that is me isn't it" and it is helpful to be seen by others because it does help you to understand yourself.

e.g George joked (but was definitely being serious) that some days I wake up like a 7 year old kid and others like a 70 year old grandad, that is so true! I don't know how I will wake up in the morning! And then Tay lovingly joked about all of my phases from Army, to Rowing, Art, Writing, Vietnam, Boxing and many many many more. I really do love a fad and trying things and I used to think that was silly because some people laughed at me for trying things and not seeing them through, but then and now I realise people think it's great! And they respect my bravery for giving all these things a go and some people are even inspired by it.

Honestly, please don't tell anyone but I love crazy talk so much, what a brilliant section of the newsletter, I just feel like I know how to write this, you know?

Dem shared a brilliant article with me about language in mental health and mental illness and how words like "Crazy" have become derogatory and dangerous and reinforce stigma around mental health. It has made me think about the title of this segment. For now, I will keep it called Crazy Talk because I am labelling myself and my own talk as crazy, not anybody else in a judgemental fashion. Actually when i really reflect and let myself tap into the chasm of my subconscious in this temple of writing that I have entered. What I love about crazy talk is that i give myself complete permission to express myself without censor (my own or yours) and I hope perhaps that could inspire or allow for the reader to do the same.

Have you always wanted to bake brownies, and thought you could be the best brownie maker in the West? Perhaps that's a crazy thought in the corner of your mind, perhaps you're a long jumper or a brilliant taxi driver or diver! Crazy I know, but aren't we all?

I am married.

love you Sarah, you wont't read this so actually I could write some really nice things about you and you wouldn't know. Love you. Hi again Mum x

thank you everyone who is here I like you x

p.s I a bit tired so will not use the highlighter today x

p.p.s changed my mind love the highligther too much x