I keep getting like full blown waves of emotion
Like a sadness, but not sad. More like relief. I actually think it’s happiness and joy without the smiles.
A wave of relief, and peace and contentment.
My own home. I have wanted it for a long time but never really realised it. Paying Malcolm, or Susan or whoever else the bourgeoisie landowner was my rent, hurt on some level I think.
I don’t think landladies or landlord are bad, it’s just that after 10 years I wanted to own something.
And I wanted to be somewhere. Just stop. Stop moving. No more rented plates and sofas. It was holding me back.
I honestly can’t wait to mop the floor tonight.
Why would I mop Malcolms floor? I never did.
Malcolm was my old landlord, nice guy genuinely but when I found out he was in his holiday home in Antigua when we had damp during COVID I was done.
Ahhh
I just slumped back in my chair. What a word slump is.
Can’t wait to clean the tiles in the hall way, it’s a hand and knees job I know it is.
I love that BL reads this, I hope he reads all the way. Legend.
Home.
Yeah let’s have it honestly. I know the feeling I’m about to have because I’ve seen George have it. The power of home, it’ll surge through me. Who knows what I’ll create from here.
Straight away, my own office. Oh yes, I’m writing on a massive screen. It’s warm and I have a phenomenal chair.
Of course I’m going to feel better!!! What have I been doing all these years.
^^^^hey J, it's me James! Don't judge yourself, just be happy with the now. Thanks J.
It is funny because we’ve been conditioned to think that all of our mental health problems are OUR FAULT. OUR INDIVIDUAL FAULT.
And all the therapies we have been sold are individual and 1:1, of course they are. Take this pill, talk to this person, do this practice, go to this place.
Yet really the environment has the bigger impact IMO, it’s just that if I’m headspace I don’t have a business if I tell you that you don’t need to meditate you just need a new job or to not live in a box in New York for $5000 a month.
It’s like the NHS probs wouldn’t be breaking if we lived in a more healthy way with good leadership etc
I’m being a bit punchy here and don’t fully mean what I’m writing, but I mean it a bit, just not all the way. Its’s not binary.
CRAZY TALK is actually not binary at all. Crazy talk is red and yellow and whatever.
Tired now. I have a home and I live here with Sarah who I am married to. We love each other.
I am married with a house and a mortgage and I bought a mop from B&M the other day.
mop mop (George the penguin emoji would be so perfect here x)
B&M is WOW what a store. Great value for some top of the range goods!
Live from crazy town.
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