#244: 29 unread whatsapps
My phone is turning my brain into mush and I don't know what to do about it
I’ve got 29 unread messages on WhatsApp.
I just went on my phone to do something, I think I needed to message someone for a work thing.
Oh yeah and that booking reference for that other thing is on my emails.
Wait, I’m on instagram, why? Oooh funny video. Goal!
What did I go on my phone for again?
Oh yeah that thing, what was that? Damn, I can’t remember.
Now I’m on LinkedIn. Shiny red 7 in the corner. Isabella is now the Transformation Lead at IBM, I’ve not seen her in years, “Congratulations on your new role!”
Steven Bartlett is giving me relationship advice and John doesn’t agree.
I chuck my phone down on the desk. This is not right.
My relationship with my phone, my work on my phone and social media is turning my brain into mush.
I’m losing focus, memory, sleep and probably something more.
My eyes are turning square and most days where I spend 80% of my working time either on a laptop or a phone, my brain is fried.
Even on good days when I work out, go for runs, for walks, get off screens at a decent hour and don’t have my phone in the bedroom. It’s still a lot.
The blend of my work, friends, family, social and communities all on one device is too much and I don’t know what to do about it.
I’m stuck, because I want to talk to my friends. I want to share photos with family. I want to organise the next run I’m going on or the next time I’m seeing someone.
I want to harness the power and reach of social media for my work too, because despite it’s flaws, it’s an amazing medium to reach people, engage with them and share what I’m working on.
I feel trapped in the matrix of my phone, social media and emails. I’m lost in it and I don’t feel strong enough to create the discipline or processes I need to control it.
I’ve tried the basic stuff, no phone first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Unfollowing influencers, people I don’t know, not responding to work emails late at night.
I thought I was pretty ahead of the curve with all that stuff, I thought I had a good relationship with my phone and was in control. These basic boundaries are not enough though, I need something else and I don’t know what it is.
As I feel my brain slowly descending into a slop-like consistency, I realise, I’ve not got it all right.
When my mates respond to me 3 days later and when I see 42 unread messages on their phones too. I know I’m not the only one.
I don’t think any of us have this right.
Back in the day I got home from school and went on MSN for a couple of hours, that was it. A few nudges, a few “wuu2s” and by 5pm we were done until we saw eachother in real life the next day.
A few years later when text messaging came about, we probably exchanged a few texts a night. Then came Bebo, MySpace, Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat and now here we are.
On the device in my pocket I can talk to anyone all the time, buy plane tickets, watch a film, watch videos from all over the world forever, send work emails, I’ll then set my alarm for the next morning and use maps the next day to get to where I need to go.
It’s too much and I don’t know what to do about it.
I long to go backwards, to become more analog. Light a fire, read a book, forage for potatoes, make a stew.
Get a proper alarm clock, use a proper calendar, use a proper map.
Whilst some of this feels good (getting a proper alarm clock is a great way to not need your phone in your bedroom) I’m not going to start carrying around an OS map with me to find out where I need to go, or faxing my friends to meet for a pint.
Thinking about how I can decouple items from my phone might help, yet I fear, only a little and not enough to make a real change.
I believe the real evolution is how do I accept that this incredible piece of technology is in my life and how do I work with it in a healthy and sustainable way? How do I develop the discipline to not fall down instagram reel rabbit holes? How do I find a way to communicate with friends in a way that feels good for us all?
I don’t know the answers to these questions. I do know that I’m not alone in feeling overwhelmed and at a loss with the information, stimulation and connection overload our phones are encouraging.
Bring back Ceefax!