#277: Playing whack-a-mole with my thoughts
I’m done playing whack-a-mole with my thoughts.
It’s first thing, I wake up and there it is - that thought about money. BANG. I must get it. Aargh missed.
I’m cooking dinner and my mind wanders about the future, about work, about where I’ll be in 5 years. Bang. Ahh missed again.
I’m brushing my teeth before bed. Comparison to other founders I know, those ones I was stalking on social media earlier today. Right, slowly, slowly, WHACK! GOT IT. I grab on, hold on tightly. I’ve got you now, I’m going to think you to death. I’m going to think my way out of this one. A plan! Ah ha! That’s what I’ll devise.
It’s the next day and these same thoughts and others keep popping up and I keep whacking them.
Sometimes I hit, most times I miss. Even when I hit, I only ruminate on that thought for longer.
I’m tired of playing whack-a-mole with my thoughts. I’m sick of it. It’s exhausting. It’s pointless. I’m not crippled by it, but I feel like I’ve always got the TV on in the background. Like I’m always listening to elevator music that’s a little bit too loud.
Working out, running, time with friends, chilling with Sarah, walking, dog-walking - the moles go away, or, i’m not whacking them. But when I’m alone, or when I’m drifting through normal life. WHACK.
I noticed this pattern and I wrote about it in my journal the other night.
I don’t want to do this anymore. The content doesn’t even matter. The thought could be anything. The content changes. What I noticed is, I’m in fear and when I’m in fear I’m trying to control everything. I keep whacking.
I resolved not to change my thoughts, not to try and make a plan and work them out. Not to do anything different in my life, no more grandiose dreams or changes. No silver bullets. No more pressure on myself. Just stop playing whack-a-mole.
Put down the hammer.
When the worry comes up about money. Don’t whack it. Don’t try to whack it. Take a breath and let it go.
When that idea pops up - that vision for the next business, book or brand. Don’t whack it with a hammer. Breathe, let it unfold, when it has passed, get a pen and write it down.
Drop the hammer, pick up the pen. You can’t whack anything with a pen.
This helps and is helping. I simply let thoughts pass, let them wash through me and let them go. Or I let the thought unfold and do something about it.
This latter point is what I’ve always missed from meditation. I’ve always felt like meditation was too passive, just letting things be, when sometimes I want to do something.
Not playing whack a mole isn’t about letting my thoughts run riot. It’s about letting them be, not holding onto them and doing something about the ones that keep recurring, or the ones I want to save for later.
It’s been a week since I stopped playing whack a mole. It’s the same week I’ve meditated most mornings, so there’s an obvious link. I feel better and lighter.
The philosophy I keep leaning into, is that it’s not all about me. Even my thoughts aren’t about me. They’re just thoughts that arise and emerge in response to what’s going on in the world around me.
I trust that what needs to happen in life, will happen, if I can let be. I can control my actions and responses, and not too much more. I can hold the pen, and not the hammer. Living in fear and yearning for control, my hands gripped tightly around a hammer. That’s no way to be.
I’m choosing not to play whack-a-mole with my thoughts.
Cheers,
James x
p.s I’m mentoring Founders and have space to work with one more founding team. Would love it to be you.
p.p.s if you value my writing, you can support here. You get 1-2 additional posts a month and you keep me writing for free.
p.p.p.s I thought the other day I should send postcards to people, pick a topic, I write a postcard and send it to you, or someone as a gift. Want one?
