#252:I'm not that open-minded.

I'm not as open-minded as I thought I was.

I’d like to think I’m open minded. 

Really though, how open-minded am I actually?

After some recent reflection, not very.

I don’t read non-fiction books. 

I don’t listen to “self-improvement podcasts” (yuck).

I don’t listen to podcasts about startups or creativity. 

I find most content on self-development, improvement, health, money, work exhausts me. It’s all so intense. Everyone’s so busy. The frequency of most online content creators is not the frequency I want to be on. 

The absolute last thing on earth I want to listen to is someone asking asking someone else how to live longer. Why do we all need to live longer? Why do I need to be or do more? Can’t we all just be enough?

When a friend gave me “Principles: Your Guided Journal” by Ray Dalio, I accepted it graciously and mentally stacked it, unread, on the bottom of my book shelf. 

A guided journal, no thanks. Not more homework. 

And Ray Dalio, don’t know the guy, but I heard investor so probably someone else just teaching us all how to get rich, rather than be rich inside. 

Still though, I opened it and the spiralling lines throughout motioned me to come back. There was something in here for me.

Logically working through mistakes, failures, principles. Ok, whilst a bit rational for my liking, I can get into this. Maybe I will learn something about myself, maybe I’ve been avoiding learning something about myself. I’ll keep reading.

Then, the most recent chapter. How open minded are you?

This question confronted me, because in the moment I knew the truth and I felt some shame. Not very. 

I’ve fallen into an echo chamber and I’d like to get out. I’ve developed a cynicism and I’d like to shake it off.

How receptive am I to vastly different opinions, how willing am I to take advice? When did I last do or try something that was totally totally new to me?

I had a quick glance in the mirror, and yeah, I’m not actually that open-minded after all. 

I’d probably swapped open-minded for “liberal” - whatever that means - as if being open-minded was some sort of label, rather than a consistent practice. You can’t just be open minded, you actually have to do it. 

After scribbling a response to the question in this journal i didn’t even want to open anyway. I woke up the next day. I listened to a podcast with a right-wing journalist and then watched a video about how to build a local newsletter. 

Two pieces of content others had sent me that had remained in the “unread” pile.

I nearly listened to a podcast called “against modern feminism”. I’ve not brought myself round to that yet. 

Doing this has challenged me. It’s not really changed my mind on anything, yet it’s made me realise how un-open someone who labels themselves as open-minded actually is. 

Whilst my views on feminism or Brexit didn’t change after brief exposure to some different view points, what did change occurred later in the day. 

This practice allowed me to reflect on how often I refuse help or support in my own life from those around me. I’m not always “open-minded” in conversations with friends when they are trying to help. 

Particularly Sarah, my wife, who gives me brilliant advice or ideas that I often completely ignore, only to implement months later and credit a book I read or my own genius. 

Later that day, after my morning with conservative social commentators, when we were walking down the canal and Sarah was telling me about her pilates instructor’s manifestation mantra, I caught my eyes rolling. 

Could I open to this?

“Go on tell me, what is it”

“Show me the way...

What would you have me do?

What would you have me say?

And to whom?”

Walking down the canal, I said it aloud. “It’s a bit like a prayer” I smiled, I like this. 

“Show me the way,

What would you have me do?

What would you have me say?

And, to whom?”

I dare you to open to this, I dare you to say it aloud. Especially if your eyes rolled when you saw me write “manifestation mantra”.

Something came to me, quite clearly, something moved in me. It actually worked a bit.

I’ll tell you what it was, next week. 

For now, how open minded actually are you?

It’s a good question, if you’re anything like me, probably less open minded than you think you are. 

Open some more, the growth is at the edges. 

Cheers

James x

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I’ve been thinking about bringing back my journaling community recently. I started one in COVID with Sanctus and it was a success. I love journalling. It helps me a lot. I know more people want to be accountable to the practice and get into it. I’m thinking a mixture of sending out journaling prompts with guidance and some online journaling sessions for community and accountability. If something in you says “yes” to this, email me and let me know.