#216: Bring back half pints
“Just a half for me please”
Over the years nothing has scared me more than ordering a half pint when I’m out with the lads, or a group of men.
The reactions range from sheer disbelief, complete outrage or a straight up refusal to order one on my behalf.
At best, it’s raised eyebrows and a subtle shake of the head. Disappointment.
Ordering water, in my experience, is more acceptable and can make you quite popular at the bar.
“Yeah get me one actually please mate”
A half pint though, causes quite a stir.
I like to go out for a drink, I just don’t like to drink as much as I did when I was 18-25.
The hangovers are one thing, the expense another, but neither are the real reason.
The real reason is I just don’t like drinking a lot anymore, for many reasons and I’m good with that.
For a long time I felt a lot of judgement, most of which I put on to myself.
In the UK we have a big boozing culture and particularly for men it’s often how we spend time together and connect.
I love a good pint, with a mate, in a dimly lit pub with a fire on. It’s brilliant.
Yet I love other things too. Hiking, running, being outdoors, going out for food, a great coffee.
I’ve become more of a 10 in the morning than a 10 at night person. I like activities that start as the sun has come up, over ones that start when it’s gone down.
I see that alcohol still has a big part to play in how we connect and have fun together, which is why I’ve never considered sobriety.
I can imagine it might make my life a bit easier to just say "no" full stop, rather than; "no not now, thanks".
I imagine quitting alcohol must be very challenging. Drinking less is a challenge too.
The same awkwardness is applied. When someone inevitably asks why just a half pint, or why I’m skipping this round or why I don’t want a jagerbomb or a sambucca shot. The answer isn’t because I’m sober because x, y or z life decision.
It’s just because I don’t fancy it. It’s just no, without a backstory that I used to be an alcoholic.
I’m noticing much more acceptance in groups about people’s differing alcohol habits which is good.
I’ve mainly written this one for the men and the lads out there though. Where drinking culture is much heavier.
The lesson I’ve learned is that most of the time I care way more about how I look or how I might be perceived than anyone else really does and a pack of lads will sniff my wavering confidence a mile off and pounce on it.
Order a half pint with a tinge of embarrassment, when nobody is looking, hoping nobody notices and I’m not fully aligned. Piss-taking and banter, incoming. My own sense of shame and lack of confidence, uncovered.
Order a half pint with pride and not a care in the world, smiling and i’ll probably be talking to someone shortly about how good it is to drink water on a night out, or how they don’t want to drink as much as we used to either.
Bring back half pints, I say. Or whatever it is you fancy. Water is fabulous too and pubs mostly serve it with ice in a pint glass for free.
I love a half. Cold, crisp and just enough not to get too bloated. I like to think it’s a bit more continental too, classy. That’s what I tell myself.
A day out with the lads is a great mirror for your behaviour and desires. I notice now when I’m a bit nervous to ask for something, or when I find myself doing something just to fit in. It’s normal, I’m just aware enough to notice it.
To drinking less, or not at all, or however much you want as long as it’s what you truly want.
I’ll drink a half to that.
Cheers x
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