#180: My problem with purpose
I have developed a problem with the modern narrative around “purpose”
The concept of “finding your purpose” implies a few things.
1) You don’t have a purpose so you must find one
2) You must search until you find it
3) Without a purpose, you are purposeless
The concept of finding my purpose in life has been very centred around my work.
It has meant searching for a calling and a vocation, something that I can dedicate my life to that serves a greater good. Whether that be the creation of a business, the service to an industry or supporting the world to become better in some way.
Finding purpose for me has meant finding a job that I love, where the work is “purposeful” for me and for the world.
My problem with this narrative is that it emerges from a desire to develop meaning for our existence.
It subtly implies that my life alone is not enough, that the beauty of life being available to live is not a purpose in itself.
That I must, to justify why I am here, find a purpose to be alive.
The belief that the purpose of my life is to breathe fresh air and to look out through the window and smile at the very beauty of life is very abstract.
It’s also quite a scary belief too because it is very counter-cultural to the “you must have a purpose” narrative of the rest of the Western world.
I have spent much of my life so far finding my purpose and I have spent much of my working life working hard at the purpose(s) I have found.
Some of that has been meaningful and rewarding. It has been exhausting too.
I have been sensitive to my mental health and been in touch with many of the ups and downs I have felt along the way. Many of my feelings of sadness, numbness, depression or anxiety have come when I have felt like I am not doing enough or when I have felt like I am not working towards something, that I am not achieving my purpose.
“Having a purpose” has given me some joy and fulfilment, it has also caused me suffering too.
If I imagine a life where I have no one/single purpose then I need to dispel the belief that I am Harry Potter on some magical quest of life, that I am the Hero in my Hero’s Journey.
If I do this for a second in my mind right now with my eyes closed, then I feel relieved. I feel like I can relax, a weight, a pressure and an expectation has been lifted.
I feel afraid too, afraid that my life is purposeless.
Is the purpose of being a great friend, enough?
Or, a great Mother?
Or, someone that loves to paint?
Or someone who loves a particular football team?
Are those above, enough of a purpose for living?
Yes, I believe they are.
Of course, many of us are capable of applying ourselves to a great number of things. Working long hours, building things, working for great companies, starting businesses, writing, drawing, singing.
Do we have to have some a creative or professional output to justify our life?
I think not.
I have lived with the belief that not realising my full potential is a sin, a wasted life. That not finding my purpose and living in alignment to some higher calling every day makes me meaningless.
The pressure of purpose is where my problem with this narrative lies.
The alternative is finding purposeful moments in everything we do. In living a life, where just existing is enough.
I couldn’t tell you if that is enough for me, because I’ve never done it.
I might give it a try though.
James x
Poem of the week. Wild Geese by Mary Oliver
Wonderful time in Lisbon recently and hoping to spend some more time there.
My book at Tate Modern snapped recently :)
What I'm writing
Why having a 'Personal Brand' for Founders can be awesome - Sifted (NEW)
All of my Published Writing here
What I'm reading
I'm reading Feast of the Goat by Mario Vargas Llosa. It's getting much better towards the end.
I'm reading "The Invitation" by Oriah Mountian Dreamer. You can read her poem here which is a spine-tingler, the book is a follow-on to this remarkable poem. This book just gets better and better and better, I feel very connected to it and am finding it quite moving.
My pocket read is "To Bless the Space Between Us" by John O'Donohue. A beautiful book of poetry for different thresholds and periods in our life.
I can't stop buying books. I just bought Upstream by Mary Oliver, Wintering by Katherine May and more that I can't remember the names of.
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My book - 'Mental Health at Work'
You can order my book 'Mental Health at Work' from Amazon, Bookshop.org, Foyles and Waterstones
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https://jamesroutledge.co/
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https://sanctus.io/
Who am I?
I'm the Founder of a Mental Health business; Sanctus and I'm the Author of "Mental Health at Work" that's published by Penguin.
I write this newsletter about mental health, startups and my life journey. 8,000 people like it enough to still be here. I try to respond to everyone who emails me, it just takes me a while.