#179: On rest sabbaticals
I’ve been tired for a while.
I don’t mean sleepy.
Or the kind of tired that I might feel on a Monday morning.
I mean tired in my bones, a deeper, more sustained tired.
The kind of tired that lingers even after a wholesome weekend.
The kind of tired that even after a holiday says “I wish we had another week” or “I wish we had a whole month, maybe 6?”
The kind of tired that feels guilty, that wonders “is this how life is supposed to feel?”
The kind of tired that might flippantly say “It’s just the way it is.”
The kind of tired that might tell you; “Life’s hard, get a grip, get with the program.”
“Wake up and smell the coffee” No please, make it 3 strong coffees to even wake up.
In our always on, always growing, always creating, always producing world, where does rest fit?
Stopping and resting seem to have gone beyond luxury. They’re a privilege that even if we have access to we seem to be subtly encouraged not to enjoy.
It’s as if rest is death. Rest and stopping is giving up, it’s quitting, it’s heading for the exit sign, the end.
Rest has gone from a luxury to a taboo.
Over the last few years I’ve noticed how people’s eyes light up when I tell someone I’ve got no plans for the weekend.
People smile, “Oh, that sounds great! I could do with one of those”
Rest lights people up, rest fills us up. Yet little do we take it.
In the last 10 years I haven’t rested much.
I have holidayed and I have created memorable and wonderful experiences. Yet I haven’t rested much.
Aged eighteen to twenty five my holidays were harder work than my job. Booze fuelled weeks in Ibiza with no sleep and no decent food.
Twenty five to thirty my holidays were squeezed in alongside stressful work commitments which created more pressure to cram a month of travel into a 4 day City break.
Weekends have become more restful in the last few years and lockdown forced me and many others to slow down. Yet before that the weekends were social time, family time, party time. No rest for the wicked! Work hard, play hard! You know the rest..
I’m unashamed to say I’m tired. Not through lack of sleep last night or last week, or a stressful time at work (I slept like a log last night)
I’m tired because of 10 years of hard work.
The power of rest and sabbaticals is well documented and often taken up in creative industries. Yet a sabbatical is still a rare experience in our world today. Stefan Sagmeister talks about ‘the power of time off' in this Ted Talk here.
There are some practical things to consider. Money being one, can you afford to rest? That’s a very real question. The truth is for me, if I were living in London, I probably couldn’t afford to rest for long.
Then there are the feelings that pausing may evoke. Stopping is quite a scary thought, 'Will I like who I am when I stop? Will I like the sound of my own thoughts? Does stopping bring up feelings of loneliness and fear?' Jerry Colonna and Tim Ferris talk about sabbaticals here and talk a lot about the emotions that can arise before and during time off.
I’m a little frightened of rest. Frightened of not “being productive” which is capitalism-for not mattering as a human because I am not making myself or someone else money.
I am a bit frightened of what I rest towards, the unknown is a dark scary place, especially when you’re not used to it.
The obvious question is, "what do you do all day then?" That I get. I’m not 14 anymore and struggle to sleep in until 3pm and then play Football Manager on my computer for the whole day.
Rest isn’t just sleep. Rest can be active. Reading, writing, doing DIY, cooking, painting, working out, running. This is a great article on 'how to rest well'
I’m entering a period of rest.
I can’t tell you yet that is was worth it, that I rested and then came up with this amazing new business. That I rested and then because of resting I actually made more money than ever.
No, none of that.
I’m simply just resting.
I spoke at a brilliant event IN-PERSON last week. The event was with Helen Tupper from Squiggly Careers for the launch of their new book.
What I'm writing
All of my Published Writing here
What I'm reading
I'm reading Feast of the Goat by Mario Vargas Llosa
I'm also reading "The Invitation" by Oriah Mountian Dreamer. You can read her poem here which is a spine-tingler, the book is a follow-on to this remarkable poem.
My pocket read is "To Bless the Space Between Us" by John O'Donohue. A beautiful book of poetry for different thresholds and periods in our life.
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My book - 'Mental Health at Work'
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https://jamesroutledge.co/
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https://sanctus.io/
Who am I?
I'm the Founder of a Mental Health business; Sanctus and I'm the Author of "Mental Health at Work" that's published by Penguin.
I write this newsletter about mental health, startups and my life journey. 8,000 people like it enough to still be here. I try to respond to everyone who emails me, it just takes me a while.